Sunday, 29 May 2016

The Third Wheel

School is a time when people form friendships which stay for a long while or they are atleast assumed to. We were focused on getting through each tumultuous school day, tolerating all lectures and waiting for recess to hang out with friends from other classes.  Among this, some of my friends had crushes on girls including me and every year, it changed. But some of my friends were so lucky that even the girls they liked, liked them back. Imagine that, you are in school and your first crush as you enter adolescence actually likes you equally or maybe even more. But then there is a plot twist and a guy comes and ruins everything between the love birds, tired of playing the third wheel. This is one such story and believe it or not, I am the one who played the third wheel.


This was 7th grade (7th Std.) and like every year, the faculty had put me in a different class for no apparent reason. And I was in such a class where I hardly recognized anyone apart from 5-6 people who like me were forced to switch classes. So, for me to settle in the class, I had to make new friends which was easier said than done. There was a guy in the class named Ramesh Nair who became an instant friend of mine. Not only were we in the same class, but we also walked our way back to the bus stop from school. This developed the camaraderie between us and we started talking about everything under the God’s green earth.


But, the topic that interested us the most was assigning each guy with a girl and teasing them with it. The best part about it was the fact that we used code words when other classmates were with us. One of these classmates was Pratyusha Krishnan. She had moved from Chennai that year and joined our school. Its difficult to explain in words how beautiful she was but yeah, she definitely was different. Ramesh and Praty became good friends as they sat across each other in class. I noticed this building friendship between them on one good day when I sat behind them on the last bench. Though I liked some other girl and I was teased by the name of the same girl, I still liked Praty a lot.


What I didn’t know was the extent of the cupid’s attack on Ramesh and Praty I thought it was one way and I didn’t know Praty liked him too. So, one day I decided to pull Ramesh’s leg and told him that I had overheard Praty talking to Manisha (my crush). Praty told her that she likes me and the other girl replied that she likes Ramesh. Ramesh was surprised but took it in humor and I thought that was the end of it. Later, the academic year came to an end and I was again shuffled to a  different class and now, all my colleagues were new. I had to hang with new friends and as usual, let go of others. Soon, I lost touch with the love birds.


Now, we jump 5 years in my life to the point when I was in Engineering, first year. At this time, Facebook had made its way to our PCs and everyone wanted to connect to their friends. I did the same and found Pratyusha on that social media. I sent the request and was excited to catch up with her. But to my surprise, it was rejected. A mutual friend of mine and her was in my class. I asked her the reason for her rejection. She said that, Praty didn’t want to be in touch with me. I was shocked by her response and asked my friend the reason. She said that she cant say it. I was annoyed and kept pestering her to say the reason.


Finally, she relented and told me that she doesn’t like me ever since I broke her affair 5 years ago. Not only was the affair part shocking to me but the fact that I broke it was equally bewildering. I asked her for details and she told me that in 7th grade, I told something to Ramesh that made him doubt Praty and they broke up. I started laughing and replied that I never knew they were dating. I didn’t even know that the flame was burning from both ends. My friend then said that if I apologized to her, she might consider adding me. I asked my friend to convey my apology to Praty but I also added that I no longer wanted to stay in touch with her.


When I still think about it, I smile because the fact that they were in a relationship at the age of 12 and it broke because of my immature joke felt baffling. If your relationship is so weak that such a kiddish thing could break it then there is no point of having the same. Yes, I am at fault. I shouldn’t have made the joke. But I would never have guessed that they liked each other. They say that events such as these in your early ages shape your personality in your adulthood. Since that day, there have been many occasions where I have been accused of being too close to my friends. Almost every boyfriend of any of my friend has faced an insecurity about their partner after looking at me or speaking to me.


From my side, all I can say is that insecurities arise from your own shortcomings. Jealousy arises from the fear of losing the partner to a person who is better than you. Therefore, instead of being a pest to your partner or her friend, raise your level and prove yourself to be the best. Take a step only when the friend of your partner is getting too close physically, mentally or emotionally. Else please act normal and let that friend breathe and behave normally.


As far as I am concerned, since then I have stopped making such jokes and stay away from committed people especially if some guy is really possessive. I immediately obey whatever a girl tells me regarding her partner’s insecurities and keep my distance. I am glad this incident happened with me (not for their break up, I am not a sadist) but it changed my way of thinking about couples and thereby keeping my distance from them.


Couples are crazy and they just need a reason to blame their issues on someone else. Stay away and stay clear.

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